I can't get enough of Esther Perel right now. She's a relationship hero and anyone who's in a relationship should check her out. I'm sure I'll talk you'll hear me talking about her again because her work is just so relevant but I've included some great avenues to familiarize yourself with her work. She talks about how what creates passion and desire in a relationship are often at odds with what is conducive to the safety, security, and friendship we want in our home lives. While it might not sound like Dr. Perel is a friend to monogamy and marriage, she absolutely is and she gives great insights on being in it for the long haul.
TED TALK (these are not just about infidelity, but about being married happily)
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel